Byron Katie – Interview
Description
Relative stunt doubles for the reader, such as Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love or Dan Harris in # 1 bestseller 10% Happier. These people start out with neurotics and normal people, and take readers on their way to something a little less neurotic (and less normal). The second type is less common: someone who has basically jumped off the deep end and writes from a position of something like enlightenment, liberation, whatever. We suspect that many of these people are scammers. But some are Eckhart Tolle, Oprah’s guru; the icon of the 60s, Ram Dass, seems, on closer inspection, to be real. Which, you know, only makes us more skeptical. Byron Cathy, who combines the cutting wisdom of a Zen Master with the less makeup look of Paula Dean, falls into the second category. Katie herself hit rock bottom in 1986: massive depression, suicidal despair, inability to function as a mother, wife, or whatever. And then something happened. Katie is too wise to call it “enlightenment” (it’s a truism that the more someone uses such words, the less they experience them), but it was kind of … a shift. As she describes in her new book, Mind at Home with Itself, written with her husband, poet and translator Stephen Mitchell, Katie suddenly realized that the many thoughts and assumptions she carried around with her were simply not so reliable. And when they were a little lighter, all these clichés about the present moment — radiant, pure, no problem, compassionate — became reality. “My depression had nothing to do with the world around me,” writes Kathy in the first chapter of the book. “It was caused by thinking about the world. I realized that when I believe my thoughts, I suffer, but when I don’t believe them, I do not suffer, and that this is true for every person. Freedom is that simple. ” Recently, over tea at the New York hotel where Katie was staying on her book tour, I asked her how she did it. How does she manage to be both uncompromising in her own point of view — more on that in a minute — and a best-selling writer? “Because this thing works,” Cathy told me. – You don’t need a teacher or another person for this. It’s 100 percent free. ” The “stuff” that Katie was talking about is a deceptively simple technique that she calls “work”. in work, you take a particularly unpleasant thought — my spouse is unkind, my work is unsatisfactory, the world is a mess, whatever — and you investigate it. Do you really know it’s true? What would you be if you weren’t? What would it be like if you “turned it over” on yourself? On paper, these questions may seem trivial. In practice, they lead to a kind of radical skepticism about your own opinions and prejudices, which can be extremely clear. As soon as our interview was over, I did the job with Katie on my envy of other writers, and basically started crying in that downtown hotel. She legally made me realize that I am happier in my life than in theirs. At least for a minute. Or, to take another example, Katie used to say in most of our relationships, “you really are who I think you are — and that’s always a lie. This is why investigation is so important. We never deal with each other — we deal with our own inner life. ” I pointed out that to many of my skeptical fellow journalists, not to mention my fellow social justice fighters, there is something selfish about all this “happiness” – perhaps something narcissistic, childish, soft-bodied. “I love skepticism,” Cathy said. “I think this is very helpful.” “Work is the quintessence of skepticism,” Mitchell said. “If skeptical New Yorkers carried their skepticism further and inward, they would see that what they think they know they don’t really know.”
“The truth is, Katie is a radical teacher disguised as a sweet lady who calls you” sweet. ” I objected that, living in New York, I know what the game is called: which subway to take home, how much does Snapple cost in the bodega, how not to get an advantage on the street … “Why am I so afraid?” Katie interrupted him. “Well,” I said, “this is a harsh city. – I know!” – answered Katie. – I left my purse in a cafe or somewhere else many years ago and left. Then I remembered and came back for her, but she disappeared. ” But then Katie said something that I did not expect. “My mind immediately started working on what they would do with my credit cards and my money, but then I thought they would see a picture of my children — and I thought about the joy it could bring to anyone.” “I remember you were talking about a gift a man can give his girlfriend,” Mitchell added. “Or baby food,” Katie added. “Or alcohol, whatever — we need what we need when we think we need it.” Wait, so her purse was stolen, but is she really feeling joy and compassion? Really? This, I said, is radically different from the life of most people. Is this even compatible with normal life? “For me, it’s a question of whether people are suffering in it or not,” Cathy said. – I have not spoken to anyone who does work, which seems to him to be something special in his life. We question everything. ” Even, apparently, how much it sucks when someone steals your things. But wait a minute, I said. Some ideas are important — for example, “racism is bad.” Do we really want the question of that too? “Yes,” she said, “because you are more likely to understand racists. You are more likely to have normal discussions. You will most likely grow, listen, expand and find common ground. ” “One effective type of interrogation,” Mitchell said, “would be to investigate a statement like, ‘I’m angry with racists because they’re destroying the country,’ or something like that. The point is that a thought — even if it comes from a place of justice and compassion — is a thought that can cause tremendous stress, and once you investigate it, you will find some very interesting creatures that live in darkness underneath that thought. And it’s good for everyone to be a little clearer about that. ” The truth is, Katie is a radical teacher disguised as a sweet lady who calls you “sweet.” For example, consider a passage in your mind at home with yourself where Katie says, “This is all a dream — all of life, all. Nothing ever exists; nothing can ever be, because at the very moment when it seems that it is, it disappears. It’s really funny. ” This is not the kind of pleasant spirituality that, say, eat, pray, love for mass consumption. It’s almost shockingly uncompromising, though pronounced in kind and soothing tones. But, I asked, if I feel spiritually happy about being robbed or racists destroying the country, am I not irresponsible given how privileged and lucky I am? “Isn’t it weird how people combine these two things [happiness and irresponsibility] when it’s just not so,” said Kathy. “You know, the Dalai Lama has such a sense of humor. smart.” We sat there for a while, perhaps reflecting on the horrors that the Dalai Lama has seen in his life, how much responsibility lies on his shoulders, that his people are the victims of the largest ethnic cleansing on the planet right now. Or maybe this is just what I was thinking. Maybe Katie was just enjoying the moment. Halfway Feeling at home, Katie addresses the issue of “enlightenment” head-on. “People often asked me if I was enlightened,” she writes, “and I answered:“ I don’t know anything about it. I’m just a person who knows the difference between what hurts and what doesn’t. Online NLP Course So what is NLP? NLP stands for Neurolinguistic Programming. Neuro refers to your neurology; Linguistics refers to language; Programming refers to how this neural language functions. In other words, learning NLP is like learning the language of your own mind! NLP is the study of superior communication — both with oneself and with others. It was developed by simulating excellent communicators and therapists who have obtained results with their clients. NLP is a collection of tools and techniques, but there is much more to it. It is the attitude and methodology of knowing how to achieve your goals and get results.
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- Duration Lifetime access
- Skill level All levels
- Language English
- Students 199
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